Friday, October 8, 2010

Unemployment, Distractions, and Home Decorating

Since I have completed my journey down the road to higher education and a smaller bank account, I have now entered the "OMG I NEED A JOB" Arena. Funny how the road to higher edumacation was much easier. Who knew. In my battle to keep from completely losing my mind, I have decided to start a few home improvement projects while I wait for an employer to call and say " WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU ARE PERFECT! YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED. NAME YOUR PRICE. So far, that call has not come. Hell, I am starting to think my phone doesn't work at all.
For my first project I painted my daughter's room. It was time. When her brother was in Grade 5, he occupied the room. He painted it red with a splatter painted wall. It looked great then. He moved into a room in the basement and his sister took over his room about 5 years ago. His sister happily moved into the red room. Lately she has been complaining about painting it. My sweet little girl is the most stubborn, hard headed, independent, decorating challenged individual you will ever meet. This is the girl who at the ripe old age of two days old, had the nurse at the the hospital so driven to frustration she told me "Miss Susan has an attitude". Great! At two days old I already knew I was in for the battle of my life. She hasn't changed. She has attitude an knows how to use it. Once she has made up her mind, it stays made up. Great for when you want to achieve a goal. Not so great when decorating a room. I cannot describe the colors she chose for her room. She wanted three walls blue and the fourth wall painted blue with green stripes. Yikes. I gave in thinking I can always just close the door. The project is now completed. It makes her mad but I can't help it. Every time I walk past her room I start humming a tune from the circus. Her striped wall reminds me of a circus tent.She informed me that a circus tent is red and white not blue and green so stop humming that stupid song.
I began the job of painting her room. Before I tell the story there are two things you need to know about me. One, I am afraid of heights. I am also afraid of snakes, mice, closed spaces, escalators, driving and teenagers but I digress. Two, I am cheap. When we first bought our house, there was a garage sale down the back lane. I strolled over to see what they had. Among the treasures, I found a paint splattered, wooden ladder for the inexpensive price of $5. SOLD . I thought if it had that much paint on it, it must have been a great ladder for painting with. Perhaps I should have paid more attention to the little old man with the two broken legs and broken arm sitting beside it. It was not until I tried to use it for the first time that I discovered that the paint spatters were not from various painting jobs. It was used to hold the ladder together. It is the most wobbly unstable thing I have ever stood on. However,  I paid five whole dollars for it and damnit I am going to use it until one of us falls apart completely.
Like a lot of us Bloggers, I own a cat. Actually, my kids own two cats. I just feed them, clean up after them and threaten to strangle them.The quiet old white one is Snow White. My daughter's cat is the black cat we have affectionately nicknamed Butthead. His given name is Killer. FYI, it is very embarrassing to take a tiny kitten named Killer to the vet. We are surrounded by the biggest dogs I have ever seen. I am pretty sure the one beside me did not only chase after a mini van. I think he ate it for a snack. The dog on the other side of me drools so much I need flippers to get to the door. There we sit. The Vet calls Killer and everyone looks at all the big dogs. I have to stand up with this tiny fluffball and say "here he is". I could hear the snickering all the way to the back. Mental note... never let your kids name the pets.
I began the job of making my daughter happy and making every interior decorator in a 500 mile radius cry. My parents were over while I was painting. They heard me yelling, a crash and a small zebra run out of the room. What had happened was Butthead was curious. While I was balanced on the ladder with one hand on the ceiling and one foot on the window, the cat wanted a peek at the paint can balanced on top of the ladder. I am on one side of the ladder trying to prevent it from tipping while he climbed the other side  to peer into the can of primer. We lost the balancing act, the can flew with the cat right after it. We now own a small furry zebra.
I can't wait to start planning my next distraction.


  1. Ha Ha! So, Canadian Cats are Idiots just like their US counterparts huh? While cat was still wet, I hope you grabbed it and used it for a little touch-up work on the wall :) Good luck with the painting. I started taking down all the autographed photos in this room about 2 months ago so that I could paint the room. I quickly lost interest and the walls are still cluttered with half of my photos. I am hoping to get the room painted by sometime in 2013 or so.

  2. I am unemployed. I can come and paint it for you. I just need my green card. lol