Friday, October 15, 2010


It has been four months since we lost Melissa. I miss her. What hurts more is watching my little girl hurt. I know she misses Melissa every day. I don't know how to help her. How do you explain the unexplainable? How do you tell a 12/13 year old that sometimes love isn't enough to save someone? Sometimes the pain they carry is too much for them to bear anymore? I can't explain it her. It must be even harder for Melissa's Mom. Imagine the pain she must have felt. To find her daughter like that. To have to tell her three Grandsons. To suddenly have three small boys to raise. To have to call people to tell them what happened. This woman is one of the strongest people I have ever met. In the midst of all her pain, she took the time to call me and tell me and tell me that Melissa was gone. She was thinking of my daughter. She didn't want her to hear it somewhere else. What a wonderful lady. In the middle of her pain, she thought of my little girl.

When my daughter was struggling in her old school, she would sometimes go down the street to Melissa's house. She knew she was always welcome there. She knew no matter how bad her day was, she could go there. The boys loved to have her and so did Melissa. My daughter loved to go there and look after the boys so Melissa could study. She felt accepted there. I never told Melissa how much that meant to both of us. Now I will never get the chance. That is something I will regret for the rest of my life. Even when they had to move, Melissa would still come and get my daughter and take her to her new apartment for a visit. Those times meant so much to my daughter.

My parents moved into the apartment block next to the one Melissa lived and died in. Those first few weeks were so hard. We had to see it every time we saw my parents. We were there the day her Mom had to clean out the apartment. It was so painful to watch.

I think the one thing that helped my daughter is that another lady we know, has told her repeatedly how much Melissa loved her. Every time we see Angie she mentions that. I think it helps my daughter to know that Melissa loved her as much as she loved her.

I miss Melissa and her smile. I wish I had seen the signs of her depression. Deep down I know there is nothing I could have done that would have changed her mind but I sure wish I could have saved her.

I miss you Melissa. Your boys miss you. My daughter misses you. We love you

I know a few of you, like me, do battle with that monster depression. I beg you if you ever feel like Melissa did to please talk to someone. Call me/email me/ text me. Whatever. Just talk to someone.


  1. Very touching post Cheryl. Melissa sounds like she was a lovely woman. What a tragedy. Your last paragraph is wonderful. Like you, I battle the depression demons often. It is always best to have friends that can help you in your fight. Talk to someone, anyone. Great post Cheryl!

  2. So sorry for your loss. I lost my granfather and uncle within a few months of each other so I know how you and your daughter must feel. I also know a bit about depression, sadly enough.

    One thing I know is that kind words can make a difference. So with that said, the Idiot pointed me in this direction and I'm glad he did. You've got a nice blog here. I,ll be back for sure.